Facebook
by broadwaypants
Summary: A follow-up to "Broadway Geeks" that chronicles Rachel and Kurt's wall-to-wall on facebook after Kurt leaves NYC.


Dear Mrs. Taylor,

Your not-as-sexy-as-Wesley boy told me today that I'm not allowed to talk to you anymore. Apparently he's still paranoid about the super-mega-foxy-awesome-hot picture of you I took. So darn, I guess this means we won't be getting any alone time to watch Repo! in the dark or cry our eyes out over RENT.

And according to Puck, your haircut is super rad. Finn's still mad at him for thinking you're attractive, by the way. Did you put a leash on that boy when I wasn't looking?

Love, Mr. Chanler-Berat

* * *

Dear Mr. Chanler-Berat,

Honestly, I told him three days ago that I'm fine and can take care of myself and that I'm not going to show up in any pornos. I think he's terrified that if I spend too much time around you, you'll turn me into Sandy at the end of Grease again.

Oh, and nothing on this earth can possibly stop us from watching Repo! in the dark. Costumes are also a necessity. I call Shilo. You can have Amber, if you feel like wearing a corset. Or maybe Pavi is more your style?

I still miss you!

Love, Mrs. Taylor

* * *

Dear Shilo,

How dare you suggest I'm anything like Pavi! Such a low blow. I'm embarrassed for you, actually. And if we're doing costumes, then I get Blind Mag. That woman is fabulosity wrapped up in a bat-shit crazy package. Not to mention it's Sarah fucking Brightman. No way would I pick Paris Hilton over her.

Also, I need details about Next to Normal! I hear you saw Michael Berry as Dan?

Love, Blind Mag

* * *

Dear Galinda,

I did see Next to Normal with Michael Berry as Dan! Oh my goodness, he was perfection. You should have been there, really. I think you would have brought out the ring-pop again. But then again, he is a Berry, so he has to be good. I'm claiming he's my second cousin on the Jewish side if anyone asks.

And what have you been up to in Lima? How's everyone else doing?

Love, Elphaba

* * *

Dear Wednesday,

You would claim Elphaba for yourself and give me Galinda. But hey, Galinda is the fashionable one of the two and I did give you a stunning makeover. So I guess it is accurate. And before you ask, you totally are the Wednesday to my Pugsley. We may not be related and you don't string me up on torture machines, but we do have a love/hate relationship sometimes. It's a stretch, but hey, Finn's totally your Lucas.

Anyway! Mercedes, Quinn, and I have been playing catch-up recently. They're both insanely jealous of your top-notch makeover by the way. They're about two steps away from kidnapping me and taking me back to NYC just to go shopping. Finn's been doing well, apart from his newfound paranoia that I'll somehow steal you from him, but I'm sure you guys have spoken at some point.

Love, Pugsley

PS. You call those "details" on Next to Normal? I'm calling you and making you give me a play-by-play.

* * *

Dear Meg,

Thank you for making both of my fathers give me an hour-long lecture about using my phone for long-distance calls. My phone has now been confiscated and they're keeping me on a leash. I wish I was kidding. They're making me wear dresses with super long ties in the back and take turns holding on.

In other news, since I'm now spending every waking moment of my life with my dads, they took me to see Phantom of the Opera, despite my insistences that it is still not breaking an eight. We had pretty close to a full cast, and it fell at a disappointing five. But (!) we did see Meg's understudy, and you would have loved her. The girl playing her looks so young and adorable in the ballerina outfit. I wish I could show you a picture, but alas, cameras in the theatre are strictly prohibited by law.

Love, Christine

* * *

Dear Nadia,

DO NOT EVEN ATTEMPT TO SAY THAT I'M CALLING YOU FAT BECAUSE YOU KNOW BARE IS ALL ABOUT THE HOT CATHOLIC SCHOOLBOYS.

Anyway. My apologies for your fathers' reaction to your phone bill. If you want, tell them it's all my fault. I did literally make you give me a play-by-play. Which I thank you for.

I immediately went to my Phantom Playbill and looked at the understudy's picture. Even in her headshot she looks tiny! I'm so jealous of all this understudy luck you've been having. Next you're going to tell me that you saw Rock of Ages without Constantine! Or that guy from the Addam's Family whose name I can't remember playing Lurch!

Although if either of those are true, I expect a play-by-play. Write it down this time.

Love, Peter

* * *

Dear Angel,

Don't you fret your pretty little head, I haven't had that much understudy luck. I did go to Josh Henry's last performance in American Idiot, though! Since both dads are such Green Day fans, it was easy to talk them into it. They still haven't given me my phone back, so on-a-leash Rachel is still in existence. Unfortunately.

But hey, I broke out a ring pop and proposed to Theo Stockman after the show! He told me no, of course, because he's currently involved in a woman that he said looks eerily similar to me. I'm pretty sure he thought I was her for about five seconds.

And also, because you pretty much set yourself up for it, HOW DARE YOU CALL ME FAT?

Love, Mimi

* * *

Dear Maureen,

You are so not Mimi. You're a total Maureen. Don't fight it; you know it's true.

And Josh Henry! I loved him so much! That must have been the best show ever, because I'm sure he had even more energy than usual. He's so great.

Okay, don't laugh, but Mercedes, Quinn, and I have all recently become obsessed with the BBC channel. Have you ever heard of Torchwood? John Barrowman is in it! We did some super sneaky online searching and watched the first two seasons. I can now honestly say that it is my goal in life to be on that show just so I can snog John Barrowman.

You can come too. But no snogging for you.

Love, Angel

* * *

Dear Ianto,

No, I have never seen Torchwood, but I did just look it up and decided to nickname you Ianto. You know why.

Dads finally gave me my phone back! And they let me off my leash! They even told me that as long as I don't rack up any more long distance minutes, I can see whatever show I want tomorrow! I'm so going back to Next to Normal. Betcha can't guess why!

Love, *insert appropriate Torchwood character here

* * *

Dear Mickey,

I couldn't find a good Torchwood fit for you. Gwen's too annoying and Tosh just wouldn't work. So I'm calling you Mickey from Doctor Who instead. Apparently Torchwood is a spinoff of Doctor Who and Mercedes, Quinn, and I just found them in the wrong order. So much makes sense now.

And it's because of the epic cast change! You have to tell me all about the newbies. I wish I could be there to see it with you. But we are so hitting up the tour when it comes nearby.

Also, I'm going to get you hooked on British TV once you're back home.

Love, the Doctor

* * *

Dear Meghan Fahy,

I wrote you a novel about the new Next to Normal cast. I'll give it to you once I'm back in Lima. Which is in five days! I'll be sad to leave the city, but it'll be nice to see you again. I miss you!

And getting me hooked on British TV shouldn't be too hard. The hardest part will be convincing Finn that you're trustworthy enough to be in the same room as me. He texted me yesterday telling me not to worry because he'll be "chaperoning" our time together. Please tell me you haven't planted any seeds of doubt in my absence.

Love, Jennifer Damiano

* * *

Dear Hermione,

(You do like Harry Potter, right? I'm currently re-reading them in order.)

Four days! Four days! Four days! You have to come straight over as soon as you're back and give me that novel. And get all hot and heavy with Finn, because I think he's getting horny. Or just hungry, I can never tell. I saw him giving the Victoria's Secret commercial the same look he gave a pizza last week.

Don't worry, I'll sit him down and have a nice long talk about respecting women and being a gentleman and about just how gay I am before you come home.

Love, Harry

* * *

Dear Albus,

Only an idiot hasn't read Harry Potter. Seriously.

And if I'm being honest, the talk I want you and Finn to have most is the one about just how gay you are. Because it would be horrible if my boyfriend wouldn't let me hang out with his fabulously stylish brother! I'm super excited to see you again. Three days!

Love, Minerva

* * *

Dear Vivianne,

Finn's never read Harry Potter. Well, technically he's a first-timer who's about halfway through. I made him start reading as soon as I found out that he hadn't read them. Even Puck has read them! And I'm pretty sure Brittany has too, because she sometimes waves her pencil and says random spells. Normally it's Wingardium Leviosa.

Two days!

Love, Elle

* * *

Dear Miguel,

Now I want to re-read Harry Potter too. I think Jerry has them somewhere around here. I'll look after I'm done typing this.

Okay, I lied, I couldn't wait and now I'm holding the Sorcerer's Stone. Also, since I left my facebook window up, my dads saw it and read our wall-to-wall. Thankfully not all of it, since I complained about them a while back, but enough of it to wonder if we have multiple personality disorder. I just told them nicknames are fun,

I'm coming home tomorrow! For our last night here, my Dads insisted on dinner at Sardi's. I'm not complaining. Still haven't picked out a show, but I think they're leaning towards La Cage again. Oh well.

Also, I would like you to know that this is the first time I've counted down to the end of my trip and have actually been excited to come home. I blame you.

Love, Tulio

* * *

Rachel Berry is home from New York City and can't wait to see Kurt Hummel!  
(Kurt Hummel likes this.)

Finn Hudson: Hey, what about me?  
Rachel Berry: You too, of course!  
Kurt Hummel: Don't worry Fiyero, the green girl's still yours. I'm just her fashion adviser.  
Finn Hudson: What are you talking about?  
Kurt Hummel: Honestly, Finn, we're in the same room. Just turn around and ask me in person.  
Finn Hudson: Okay, fine.  
Rachel Berry: You two are the best.


End file.
